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#Save Girlhood: Twitter Chat Sept 8

September 7, 2011 By

#SAVEGIRLHOOD

While many things have gotten better for girls in the 19 years since we started New Moon Girls, one thing is clearly worse: sexualization of girls in our culture. Girls as young as toddlers are given the message from all sides that they should mimic sexy or sexist behavior of adults in order to feel more grown-up.

We see it in clothing like the insulting t-shirt that JC Penney stopped selling last week, toys like Braatz dolls, and in all kinds of marketing including recent photos of a ten-year-old in French Vogue.

To help parents fight back, Melissa Wardy Atkins of Pigtail Pals is hosting a Twitter chat about how we can #SaveGirlhood.

JOIN US! This Thursday Sept 8th at 9pm EST/8pm CST for a chat on Twitter. Follow hash tag  #savegirlhood for the conversation. Add it to the end of a tweet so that we can see a question or comment you make.

You’ll want to follow @PigtailPals, @BeABetterWoman, @AudreyBrashich, @DrRobyn, and @Nancy_Newmoon.

We’ll also be carrying the discussion over to the Pigtail Pals &  New Moon Girls facebook pages, and probably other places.

Melissa says:

Consider this a huge town hall meeting. we just won’t be face to face. But we will be talking!

You’ve got the questions, we’ve got the answers. And when we all come together, our girls will shine.

A few introductions, so that you can get to know the powerful crew available to talk directly with you on Thursday night.

Audrey Brashich

Audrey Brashich has been involved in teen and women’s journalism since 1993. She’s worked and written for magazines such as Sassy, YM, Seventeen, Elle Girl, Cosmo Girl, Teen People, Lucky, Shape, Ms., Health and others. Her work focuses primarily on body image and understanding media influences–and she’s the author of  All Made Up: A Girl’s Guide to Seeing Through Celebrity Hype and Celebrating Real Beauty (Walker Books for Young Readers, 2006).

Audrey has appeared on TV and radio in the US and Canada (CNN, NBC, CBS, Canada’s CBC).  Her commentary has also appeared in USA TODAY, The Vancouver Sun, The Seattle Times, The San Diego Union Tribune, The Toronto Star and many others. She’s served on the board of directors for Mind on the Media, a non-profit organization dedicated to fostering critical analysis of media messages, and consulted with national organizations such as Girls Inc. on their programming and policies for girls.

Audrey is a graduate of Trinity College in Hartford, CT, and holds a master’s degree in pop culture & gender studies from Brown University.”

Amy Harman

Amy Harman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and a wife and mother.  She has worked as a therapist for several years, most recently as a therapist for women and girls with eating disorders.  Because of her work with women and the examples of strong women around her, she has developed a desire help women realize their worth. While taking a break from working full-time, she has created a website to empower women by strengthening relationships and improving mental and emotional well-being.  Visit her blog at becomingabetterwoman.com, follower her on Twitter @beabetterwoman, or like her Facebook page.

Amy is concerned about the sexualization of young girls because part of becoming a better woman is leaving a better world to those who will be the women of tomorrow.  In working with girls struggling with eating disorders, she has seen the harmful impact sexualized messages can make on young minds.  She believes we have a duty to teach children the positive aspects of womanhood through example, discussion, and activism.

Dr. Robyn Silverman

Dr. Robyn Silverman is a body image expert, parenting resource and child & teen development specialist who appears regularly on national TV such as The Today Show and Good Morning America. An award-winning writer, professional speaker and success coach, she has been the content consultant for 17 books and writes a character education/leadership curriculum called Powerful Words for top level after-school programs worldwide. Her most recent book, Good Girls Don’t Get Fat: How Weight Obsession is Messing Up Our Girls and How We Can Help Them Thrive Despite It, is based on her passion to help all girls reach their potential and highlight their strengths rather than their deficits. To learn more, please visit DrRobynSilverman.com, follow her on Facebook at Facebook.com/DrRobynSilverman, or on www.twitter.com/DrRobyn.

Nancy Gruver

Nancy Gruver is founder of the groundbreaking safe social network and magazine for girls ages 8 and up, New Moon Girls, author of How To Say It® To Girls: Communicating With Your Growing Daughter (Penguin Putnam, 2004) and blogs on girls’ issues, parenting, and media.  www.newmoon.com & www.daughters.com

And finally…..

Melissa Wardy

Melissa Wardy is the creator/owner of Pigtail Pals www.pigtailpals.com. A business owner, writer, and children’s advocate, her work has appeared on CNN, FOX News, and in the Ms. Magazine blog. She is the mom to a 5yo girl and 3yo boy and wants to see some big changes in the children’s marketplace.  What originally began in 2009 as an empowering online t-shirt shop for little girls has now grown into a large online boutique that carries  goods with the message to Redefine Girly and recognize our girls as “Smart ~ Daring ~ Adventurous”. We also have a line of tees for little boys called Curious Crickets.

In 2010 Melissa began the Redefine Girly blog to educate parents on issues of gender stereotypes and sexualization that our children face. The blog and parent community quickly became known as the go-to place for parents to discuss these issues. In 2011 Melissa started presenting Media Literacy workshops for parents and educators helping them to understand how girlhood was changing, and in 2012 you’ll be able to read her book that brings everything full circle. Let’s change the way we think about our girls.

Filed Under: Communication, Health & Safety Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

You’re Wearing What?

April 7, 2011 By

What’s happening to mother-daughter relationships? The two parts in this relationship used to be very distinct, but they’re not anymore, according to Susan Shapiro Barash, author of You’re Grounded for Life! But First Let’s Go Shopping. The Challenges Mothers Face with Their Daughters and Ten Timely Solutions.

After hearing Susan Shapiro Barash interviewed recently I can’t wait to read her book. She says the difference between being a mom and being a friend to our daughters is getting very blurry, especially with clothes and shopping.

It’s hard not to notice that sexy fashion for even young girls is viewed as mainstream. How can parents let their daughters dress in these too-mature, skimpy, revealing clothes? What are they thinking? What makes them willing to buy these clothes in the first place?

The gist of Barash’s answer (and I am summarizing) is that moms remember how it felt to  be 11 or 12 (almost all ages, really!) and just want to fit in. They want that difficult time to be easier for their daughter and they think that maybe letting her wear what “all the other girls” are wearing is an easy way to do that.

Barash also points out that mothers aren’t doing this in a vacuum. And girls aren’t coming up with push up bra top ideas on their own. Society, advertising, and girl clothing marketing adds just a wee bit to the mix.  The pressure starts early. Girls as young as three feel the pressure to dress in princessy outfits and in turn they pressure others.  And then of course there are the “other moms” who allow their girls to wear such clothes and so how can the “aware moms” say no?

Even when moms aren’t feeling comfortable about too-sexy clothes they say yes. Why? It seems that we think we are making life easier for our daughters by helping them to fit in.

But I don’t think so. I think we’re making life easier for ourselves.  Many callers in to the interview gave sound advice to talk about our own family values and make sure our daughters understand our expectations.

Barash says that’s great but that many mothers she talked to while writing the book  weren’t “that brave.” This makes me scared. If we mothers aren’t brave enough to give our daughters limits, imagine how hard that makes it for our daughters.

Of course, it’s hard to be brave when you’re facing a conflict with someone you want to befriend and please, which may be at the core of this issue. Moms want to be their daughter’s friend.

One caller caught my attention. She talked about her college-aged daughter and how now that her daughter is older, they can be friends. “Be a parent first,” she said. “You can be friends later.” Are You Her Parent or Her Friend?

I agree. Our intensive parenting goes by so fast, but there’s the whole rest of our lives to have a relationship that’s a bit less parent/child and a little more young adult/older adult. I’m enjoying that phase of my relationship with my daughters now. It’s wonderful.

Enjoy your parenting while it’s here, even while saying no to your daughter at times and making tough decisions that will feel hard for both of you. Pick your battles and consider what you’re teaching her. Because your daughter is unique in her strengths and challenges, you may sometimes need to let her do things her way. No matter what is required of you as a parent, be brave and be the parent you want her to have.

What helps you be brave and say no when it might be easier in the short run to just say yes to something she wants?

Filed Under: Communication, Family Life Tagged With: , , , , ,
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