Autism Ups and Downs with Girls

The huge variations between individuals on the autism spectrum are an especially baffling aspect of this disorder. Pam Halter shared the difficulties of being mom to a 19 year old who functions on the level of an 18 month old.

The same week I got Pam’s message, Bianca, a 13 year old member of New Moon Girls interviewed Temple Grandin for the website. Dr. Grandin is a hero for many members of NMG and she spoke honestly about the struggles of growing up autistic.

The disparity in daily life between Pam’s daughter Anna and Temple Grandin makes it hard to wrap my head around the fact that they have the same disorder.

When Pam wrote to us, she said, “Being the parent of a special needs child sucks the life clean out of you, but there are things to learn along the way that make it all worth it.”

My daughter, Anna, has Pervasive Developmental Disorder-Not Otherwise Specified and suffers from a seizure disorder.

She is 19 years old, but still functions at the level of about 18 months. Being the parent of a special needs child sucks the life clean out of you, but there are things to learn along the way that make it all worth it.

I have learned unconditional love. Anna loves me no matter how grumpy or tired I am. I can snap at her for something she has no control over, and she’ll still smile and want a hug.

I’ve learned to slow down. Anna can’t move fast or engage in many activities. At first, I felt frustrated, but then I realized my hectic schedule was killing me. I had fooled myself into thinking I worked better under pressure. What a lie!

I’ve learned I am selfish. Anna requires a tremendous amount of care and is a constant source of concern. I am often annoyed when I have to stop doing something to take care of Anna’s needs. She can’t dress herself, brush her teeth or hair, tie her shoes, fix a meal or snack, or take herself to the bathroom. Autism does not allow for anyone else’s needs, wants, feelings, or desires. I know all this, yet I continue to struggle inside.

I have learned strength of will. During the first year of Anna’s seizures, I bawled my eyes out after every episode. Twelve years later, I hold her through each one and ask God for strength and mercy. When I don’t fall apart, I can be there for Anna.

I’ve learned one of Anna’s hugs is worth a million dollars and that hearing “I luh you” is wealth beyond measure. It’s not an easy task, but I am thankful for the lessons autism has taught me.

Pam is  working on a memoir about parenting a special needs child called,  “Shut Up, It’s Not A Blessing!”  in  hopes it’ll grab an editor’s attention.  “It won’t be a rant,” she says, “but a real, raw, honest look at how difficult the situation is, but also looking at all the good things that come out of it.”

We wish you lots of luck and writing time, Pam!

What resources help you in coping with your daughter’s special needs, whatever they are?

Hello, 2011!

I love hearing people’s New Year’s resolutions. Their goals give me a window into who they are. There are some inspiring girls in the Jan/Feb issue of New Moon Girls. They’ve set goals to help our environment, unite families, resist fads, feed the hungry, and more.

They inspired me to some 2011 goals for NMG. And because I believe in achievable resolutions, they are ones we can meet with your help.

Be Greener

I care about being green and finding more ways to reduce NMG’s carbon footprint. We run NMG from a virtual office. All our staff and freelancers work from home eliminating their daily commute. My husband and I share one car, and it’s a hybrid. We also live in the city so we can walk and take the bus & light rail to get around. We work as paperless as possible in our home offices, printing only the few things we really need to. This helps off-set the paper (all recycled) that we use to print and mail our magazine. And this spring we’ll offer our members the choice of getting their magazine delivered electronically instead of on paper in the mail. This is something we never imagined when we started NMG in 1992! And I know there’s more that I and New Moon Girls, can do to be greener. Help us find more ways to be green. Leave a comment here or add one to our Facebook page.

Introduce more girls & adults to NewMoon.com. We always have an open door policy and invite all girls worldwide to our safe social network and community. We use all kinds of great online tools to help us with that outreach. Word of mouth works best, especially when it comes from our current members and their parents. So thanks for helping us Spread the Word about NMG. Here’s how Each One [can] Reach One.

Remember Gratitude

It’s so easy to get swept up in deadlines, emails and daily problem solving that sometimes more important things get lost. I resolve to remember what an amazing journey I’m blessed with because of NMG. I never dreamed that the little magazine we started in our living room in Duluth, with my daughters Nia & Mavis, their friends, my husband Joe, and many other parents, would become the revolutionary international magazine and website for girls that it is now. (Of course I never imagined the website because  . . . we didn’t have the internet!)

I know you’re inspired by the girls in your life to set the example you want them to notice in the resolutions you make for 2011. Thinking what you want to learn. Contemplating what would make your days a little simpler. What gives you joy and others joy and how you can include more of that in your life.

There are more great questions to ask yourself on Sandy Kumskov’s blog. She a holistic counselor and coordinated the Body Revolution talks I did this year.

Building Builds Skillful Skills

Can You Say it Ten Times? (Or If She Had a Hammer)

Great gift giving, like so many other things, requires listening and observing. I don’t usually promote a specific toy or activity. I believe that imaginative play is still the best thing a girl can have. According to Howard Chudacoff, a cultural historian at Brown University, imaginative play was about all kids used to have. And it turns out, that’s often enough. In Old Fashioned Play Builds Serious Skills we learn ” . . . time spent playing make-believe actually helped children develop a critical cognitive skill called executive function. Executive function has a number of different elements, but a central one is the ability to self-regulate. Kids with good self-regulation are able to control their emotions and behavior, resist impulses, and exert self-control and discipline.”

But I also can’t help be excited about all the fun building toys out there that enhance imaginative play. So when considering gifts for girls, don’t forget the legos, building blocks, train sets, those fun highways and road systems you can build, marble mazes, robot kits, construction systems, and real tools! Oh, and what about fiddlestix?!

This excitement about building toys started when I learned that Rachel, age 12 [here she is on the far right with her sisters Caitlin (L) and Lauren (middle) ] and one of our Girls Editorial Board members who won a huge Build a LEGO-based robot tournament through First LEGO League. Each year FLL challenges elementary and middle-school aged kids with a real-world problem.  Rachel’s excitement is contagious! We’ll create a link on NewMoon.com so you can read her whole story. I’ll post it on our facebook page. In the mean time, you can watch a video of her robot: 4th Motor’s 395 Point Run

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-4mALwkfolM

Besides fun, these activities build the confidence to learn very handy skills! Imagine your girl, with her own tool set, as she enters college and the self-reliance she’ll have. But that’s not all, according to a Washing Times report, Girls Encouraged to Enter Technology Field, many girls see technology as a male-dominated industry and loose interest in it as they grow older. Margaret Lim, director of DigiGirz High Tech Camp held in Washington says, “But if [girls] get hooked early on, they grow in confidence and can bypass the social stigma that technology’s supposed to be a certain way.” Now that’s a gift.

Speaking Out is Easier than You Think

Today we have a guest blogger. I’m really excited about the work Amanda has done.  Her activist start began as a 12-year-old New Moon Girl reader when she got her governor to proclaim Turn Beauty Inside Out Day. And now, after several other activist endeavors, she’s a New Moon Girl intern. I know she’ll be a great inspiration to our members. Thanks for sharing your story, Amanda.

Speak Out, Get Politically Active: It’s Easier than You Think

by Amanda Kozar, Editorial Intern

Just a few weeks ago, America experienced a stirring midterm election. Power changed hands in Congress and in other government institutions…. But how did it happen? You may have seen yard signs for Democratic and Republican candidates planted across your neighborhood. Perhaps your parents received telephone calls encouraging them to vote for certain candidates or causes. Maybe you have seen those seeking political office in parades or at community events. These are all methods that both candidate- and issue-based campaigns use to communicate with voters and (they hope) earn their support. However, the candidates themselves don’t do it on their own! How do I know this? Because I am one of those people that helps out candidates during their campaigns. But I didn’t start there. I actually started my activism as a New Moon reader in the early 2000s. You can get politically active at a young age, too!

In 2002, I was deeply affected by New Moon’s Turn Beauty Inside Out campaign, which coincided with its annual May/June beauty issue. If you aren’t familiar with the campaign, New Moon encouraged girls to speak out about depictions of girls in the media. We continue today to see the same images of skinny, skinny sexualized girls. These images affect our body image and beliefs about who we should be. New Moon wanted girls to use their voices to say girls of all sizes and shapes should be our media role models, and more importantly that their ideas, societal contributions and personalities are what really count. As a result of this campaign, I wrote a letter to the editor of my local newspaper about celebrating Turn Beauty Inside Out Day (TBIOD)! Surprisingly, it was printed, and I was even asked to write an article about inner beauty in the teen section of the newspaper! In addition to telling local readers about TBIOD through the media, I wrote to the Illinois governor asking him to recognize TBIOD. As you can see from the photo above (taken much later), the governor’s office responded, sending me a proclamation declaring May 15, 2002, as Turn Beauty Inside Out Day in Illinois. My hard work paid off and I was able to reach a large audience and a public official about my concerns about inner beauty and media representation of girls. I was only twelve!

Around the same time as my New Moon activism began, I also became interested in the cause of public radio. (Public radio is the radio equivalent of PBS in the United States, and it is commercial-free, funded by listeners, large charitable organizations, and government money.) In the same year that I received my proclamation, I also wrote a letter to the editor about my local National Public Radio station. Someone had written a letter to the editor complaining about the station’s offerings, and already a fierce supporter as a pre-teen, I fired back with my own letter praising the station. The station contacted me and asked me to make a cameo appearance on the air during its pledge drive. After speaking on the air, I volunteered for the station during their pledge drives throughout middle and high school. I answered calls from listeners who wanted to donate to the station. I stay involved with the station when I am home from school. This summer I spent a great deal of time volunteering for the station, researching grants and eventually working on plans for a potential event for next summer.

Both of these activist experiences made the transition to political activism very smooth. During the height of political activity and excitement in 2008, I entered college and quickly became interested in being one of the “boots on the ground” for then-Senator Obama, who was running for president. It helped that I had seen him in person at both his announcement of candidacy and announcement of his vice presidential running-mate, which took place in Illinois. My college campus, full of activism and campaign volunteer opportunities, stoked the fire within me as well. During the fall, I decided to get involved. I traveled to New Hampshire with other students to canvass neighborhoods, telling voters about Obama and two congressional candidates. I also spent many nights at a state campaign headquarters near my college, calling voters across the country to tell them about Obama. I challenged myself to get through as many call-sheets as I could, reaching as many people as I could. On election night, I was overjoyed to see Obama win New Hampshire as well as many other states. I was excited that I helped him do it!

Since volunteering for the Obama campaign, I have also volunteered for a U.S. Senate candidate, gubernatorial* candidate, and two state legislature candidates. By simply talking to ordinary people over the phone, I think that we can make a difference by giving a personal touch and perspective on the candidate.

Perhaps the most exciting part of my political involvement so far has been serving as an intern for a U.S. Senator. Last summer, I worked several days a week for a member of Illinois’ congressional delegation. I answered phone calls from constituents, went on the road and learned about “advancing”* the Senator for a public event, and contributed to the Senator’s daily news briefing, among other responsibilities. I even met the Senator a few times. It was fun to see the government in action, helping people get assistance and navigate the many services of the federal government.

So, how can you get involved? How can you get politically active? Others may tell you that you’re too young to make a difference or get involved. They’re wrong. You can be politically active at any age – 8 or 83. To start out, you might write a letter to the editor or to a public official (i.e. school board member, mayor, Congress member, or even the President) about an issue that concerns you. Ask your parents if you can help canvass neighborhoods during campaign season, helping pass out pamphlets or talking to people about a candidate or cause. You might even attend a city council or school board meeting. If they have time for constituent comments, you might be able to voice your opinions about an issue at the podium!

What do you think? Do you have more ideas on how to get politically active? Want to tell us your experiences? Leave a comment below or write your own article! Be sure to tell us about it with a link to your story!

Pardon Me, Please!

“As much as this hurts to say, I’m an old turkey . . .”
–Jen, 12, Creative Girl, Girls Editorial Board P-O-W: I Wanna Be Pardoned!

Working with creative girls is at the top of my gratitude list. And  because I have a broad sense of how girls can be creative I’m thrilled almost every day! I get to enjoy girls’ poems, videos, stories, drawings, and photos. And I get to see the creative ways girls think about the world in their discussions, what recipe they share, and how they express themselves.

Sometimes their creations make it clear they are struggling. Sometimes they are just plain mad. And other times they are having a blast!

Here is one of those fun pieces written by Jen, one of our girl authors editors. It’s told from a turkey’s point of view. Enjoy!

Dear Mr. President,

I’ve been escaping this stupid tradition since the day my feathers began to sprout, but this year I plead for your help in this matter.  As much as this hurts to say, I’m an old turkey, and I pray that you don’t think I’ve lived so long I don’t deserve to be pardoned.  Here in Nashville I have adult turkeys of my own, and the reason I beg you pardon me is so I can be around to see grandturkeys.  I’m confident my kids will escape, but these old legs won’t do it for me anymore!  I’m a bit lonely here, anyway.  In addition to living longer, I would love to be famous!  I urge you to do this so my kids can keep track of me and make sure I’m safe. It’ll be easy to do this when I’m a famous pardoned turkey!  I hope you make my one-day grandturkeys proud and choose me to be pardoned.  Do it for the sake of an old turkey!

All best,

Teresa Turkenstein

 

 You can find her post at P-O-W: I Wanna Be Pardoned!

Enjoy!

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