Why Be A Rough Housing Mom?

Melissa Atkins Wardy wrestling with Amelia. Photo by Benny

How do you play with your kids, especially daughters? Prompted by Joe Kelly’s article Michele Sinisgalli-Yulo posed this question on Princess-Free Zone yesterday and it really got me and lots of others thinking.

I’m definitely not a rough housing mom. That was Joe’s department. He did it naturally and totally enjoyed having the girls climb over him, ride on his back, wrestle with him, play catch and shoot baskets, bike, etc.

I did physical things with my daughters including dance, art, water play, swinging, garden and yard work. None of that really qualifies as rough housing, except maybe jumping in the leaf pile. Physically rough play didn’t come naturally to me and now I’m sorry that it didn’t.

Playing that way with my daughters would have been great for them and me. Now that I’m honorary grandma to two-year old Lucy I see how important physical play is to her. She loves to run and jump and throw balls and be picked up and tossed around. And she loves to do it with me.

When we play like this I’m completely free of any thoughts about how I look. I’m totally absorbed in what my body can do and how it can do more. How my body can help me accomplish things and reach my goals.

That feeling takes me right back to the time before puberty when I was an active climber, explorer, runner & hider in the woods behind our house. I felt at one with my body and didn’t spend any energy analyzing or trying to change its perceived flaws. Body Freedom!

I think rough physical play can give girls a huge dose of Body Freedom. Kind of like a vaccination against the unhealthy appearance preoccupation they get attacked by as tweens and teens. That’s why they need as much of it as we can give them – from mom, dad, grandparents, etc. They need lots and lots of experiences of their body in action and being valued for its action.

That’s why I wish I’d been a rough housing mom.  And why I’m going to reform and become even more of a rough housing grandma.

Do you rough house with your daughter(s)? Why or why not?  And I’m looking for photos of moms rough housing with daughters – couldn’t find a single one in a google search! If you have one you’re willing to share that would be great.

Big Thanks to Melissa Atkins Wardy of Pigtail Pals for the photo of her and her daughter, taken by her son.

Luna’s Birthday – New Moon Girls Idea Day

This is the day in 1992 when the creative spark that became New Moon Girls lit up my imagination.  Joe & I were driving back to Duluth from Copper Harbor, MI in our trusty old Datsun, talking about what we would like to be doing five years from then.  The idea for a “Junior Ms. – a feminist magazine run by girls,” popped out of my mouth.  Within five minutes I knew: “That’s it!  That’s what I want to do!”

Of course, there were a few details to work out – mainly that I didn’t know anything about publishing – as Mavis & Nia logically pointed out when I excitedly told them about the idea a few days later.  But I believe that what mattered is not my empirical knowledge at that point, but that  I recognized my passion when it appeared, I trusted it, and I threw my heart and soul into working on it.

The spirit of that passion grew and blossomed as Nia & Mavis, Joe, and then many other girls and adults, gave their energy and expertise to what became New Moon.

Those who helped with creating our first issue of the magazine are: @mavis gruver @nia kelly @joe kelly @sarah vokes @amanda sundin @libby sproat mcniven@lindsay glesener @kaitlin erpestad @annalisa eckman rudser @stephanie hanka vandover @marit knutson @emily mari vikre @molly mckinnon @beth niedringhaus @rebecca oachs @marta ostovich @rachel ostovich @kerri sjoblom @marisa sjoblom @margaret tosun @kandace wheeler @lezlie hahn oachs @sherry boyce @kathy marsaa @marian lansky @heidi timm-bijold @lise lunge-larsen @ann boncroft @mary lawton @laurie hertzel @lynette lamb @rebecca sterner @mary maggio @rosalie maggio.

It has taken a village to grow NMG. Thank You All – if I missed anyone please let me know so I can correct.

Now we celebrate June 6 as Luna’s birthday and New Moon Idea Day.  Over these 19 years later, we’ve touched and supported hundreds of thousands of girls and adults with the power of girls’ voices.  Along the way, we’ve successfully challenged assumptions about what girls are capable of and interested in and helped to change society’s expectations of girls.  Still, there’s so much more to be done.

From the bottom of my heart, I thank you for your part in this magical process that has reached so many and is going to reach so many more as we grow.

What’s your idea today that you know in your mind, soul and heart will make the world a better place? How will you get started on it? Who will help you? Please share!

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