Do we parents make too big a deal about “the puberty talk” ? Isn’t it just another phase of transitioning out of childhood and into adulthood?  We think the topic is so important that we often publish puberty articles in New Moon Girls’ “Body Language” department.  We find it especially important for our readers for many reasons, including the fact that research reveals that Girls Are Starting Puberty Earlier.

In New Moon Girls magazine and safe social network we publish articles about acne, hormones, breast development, and many other aspects of this major transition. That all seems to please the parents of our readers. But when we publish an article on menstruation or, most recently vaginal discharge, some parents get very uncomfortable.

That’s definitely not our goal. We want to increase the comfort level for girls and parents discussing these topics. We  give girls accurate information about normal and natural parts of growing up. (And we do understand that many parents ARE comfortable, they just haven’t gotten to those topics yet. The right time is simply yet to come.)

We asked our Facebook fans to tell us when it’s a good time to start discussing puberty and got a range of responses:

• When they start it.
• Six or seven. Any later, and they or their close friends could very well be entering puberty already.
• 8 or 9. Depends on girl and how she is mentally and physically mature.
• I don’t think I ever started with my girls. It’s been an ongoing discussion all their lives. They asked questions when they were younger as they noticed things with me and I always answered them.
• I think anytime questions come up. There are obvious differences between my body and my daughter’s (she is currently 7). She has asked questions about those differences for quite awhile. When they do come up, I explain, in an age appropriate way, what puberty is and how it may affect her when she is older. I have never hidden my period from her. I answer her questions as honestly as I can and without shame.
• Ongoing discussion…. When asked a question I answered at her level of maturity and went on to explain that the topics we didn’t hit upon would be discussed later when she was ready to understand them, she was ok with this.
• It’s been ongoing at our house, since the discovery of differences between boys and girls (which was early with 2 brothers!). LOL!
• When they ask.

Then the discussion shifted a bit . A mom said, ” See, my problem with the ‘When they ask,’ response is that I never asked. I got my information from friends around me (and not always accurate information), so I never asked my parents. So when I got my first period, I didn’t tell my mother. Since she never told me anything about it, I assumed she didn’t know. Yes, I realize that doesn’t make much sense, but it did to 11-year-old me. I wish they had given me some accurate information when I was younger, before I knew to ask.”

That post brought a new level of awareness to the discussion and it continued. It highlights why I think it’s important for girls to get accurate, caring information in all sorts of forms: discussions with parents or other family members, New Moon Girls, books, and safe online sites.

If you haven’t started one of many discussions about puberty, now is a good time to simply observe your own point of view. For moms: Do you hate your period? Does it embarrass you? Or do you view it as a time to nurture yourself and rest? If you’re a dad: Knowing these are sensitive subjects, are you worried about how to talk about puberty with your daughter?  How would you like your daughter to experience the many changes in her body and feelings during puberty? Would you like her to celebrate the start of the womanhood journey?

At NMG we hope girls and women can feel natural and accepting about all aspects of their bodies. In the Jan/Feb 2011 issue of  the magazine and the online extras we show them great examples of girls doing that in “The Coming of Age Chronicles: Girls on the Ups and Downs of Growing Up.” You can read all about it on page 11 at New Moon Girls Magazine Sample.

We don’t have to say goodbye to our little girls as they enter puberty. We can be at their side as they start the journey.