Sister to Sister Mentor, Alexa
As Sister to Sister Mentors, Hallie, Sara, and I have the wonderful opportunity to give you guys advice about things bothering you. However, sometimes, you’ll want to ask for advice from someone who’s actually in your life. At other times, friends and other people who you are a mentor to will ask you for advice. Being on either side of this can be pretty nerve-wracking. Here is a brief guide to how to make the best of it.
On being asked advice:
In friendships where I’m older, I’m usually asked for advice more, and when I’m younger, I tend to ask for it more. However, it doesn’t always work this way. I have a family friend, a year older, who I’ve looked up to my whole life. Generally, as she experiences lots of things just a year before I do, I ask her for advice much more often. However, earlier this year, her boyfriend broke up with her, and she was really upset and told me many of her options and asked for my advice. Not only was I not used to being in this position, but also I’ve never had a boyfriend, so it was tough to figure out what to say, especially because she was so upset. I just tried to support her, and tell her how awesome she was.
Sometimes, a friend will ask you for advice, and you’ll feel overwhelmed. This relates to my Secrets post from a while back. If a friend told you, for example, that she throws up after meals and realizes that she needs help stopping, or she wants advice because a guy in your class says inappropriate comments to her in class, you should tell an adult. Sexual harassment and bulimia, the two problems I mentioned above, or any kind of abuse or self-harm are not something that kids should deal with alone. Encourage your friend to tell a parent or teacher, and if she’s hesitant, you may have to do it yourself. However, just as I said in the first example, what you can do is support your friend and tell her how much you love and support her.
On asking advice:
It can be really scary to ask for advice. You might be a little ashamed about what you’re asking. You might not want to seem vulnerable in front of your friend. You might have a secret involved in the advice you’re asking for, and you aren’t sure if you can trust the person.
Recently, I had something that I was very worried about. I told a friend, but she didn’t have any advice for me, though she was as supportive as could be. However, I was hoping for another opinion. I decided to go and talk to a teacher who I trust and know well about the problem during one of my free periods. I was really nervous at first that she would think that it was silly or that it would be awkward. It actually worked out very well- she was really kind and honest with her advice, and it wasn’t awkward at all. I’m really glad that I asked her for her opinion.
Asking for advice can work out really awesomely. You can ask your older friends, neighbors, cousins, or teachers- as well as your peers and the Sister to Sister Mentors on NMG. Asking your older brother for advice about using your locker when you start middle school or your cousin for advice about how to ask the boy or girl you like to a school dance, it can alleviate some of the stress of the situation itself. You have the benefit of hearing what happened from someone who already experienced it.
On New Moon Girls, lots of advice is given and taken. This is probably why Ask-a-Girl is the most frequented part of NMG, and a huge part of why Sarah and the rest of New Moon started the Sister to Sister mentor program. We’re always here for any advice you need.
When have you been asked for advice and were proud of the advice you gave? What do you need advice about? What advice about advice have you had trouble with? Let us know here!
Best of luck,
Alexa
