Lately, on New Moon, some girls have been talking about feeling left out. One girl may not be able to find her “crowd” that she fits into at her school, and thinks that switching schools could help. Another girl may find that all of her friends are interested in something that she can’t afford to participate in.

There can be a lot of reasons that girls feel left out of their groups of friends, or from different groups at their school, and most kids, boys and girls, feel this way at some point.

Every summer, my friends took camping trips with their families. All of my friends’ parents were also friends with each other and had known each other for a long time. My family wasn’t invited on the camping trips, because my parents didn’t know the other parents very well. Every year when they came back from the trip, I would be upset because I would hear about how much fun they had, swimming, sleeping in tents and going on scavenger hunts!

It made me feel very left out.

So, how should we deal with these feelings, when they come up?

Some girls on New Moon suggest that if your friends are ever making you feel bad  about yourself by making fun of you or bullying you, then you should always go talk to an adult that you trust! Think about talking to a parent, an aunt or an uncle, a teacher, a babysitter – anyone who you feel comfortable with!

You can also talk to the friends who are making you feel left out!!! It is also what some girls on New Moon have been suggesting. Nobody can read minds and your friends may never know how they are making you feel if you don’t tell them! They might even be understanding and try to make you feel more included. And if not, maybe you can try to meet some new people that you can click with!

In my situation, eventually I worked up the courage to just ask my friends if I could come too – and they said yes! So the next year, my family joined the other families and although my parents weren’t as close to the other parents, we still had a great time!

Have you ever felt left out by your friends? What would you tell a friend if he/she was feeling left out?

If you have a problem OR have advice to give other girls about feeling left out or anything else, visit the Sister to Sister message board.  The new Sister to Sister mentors are a group of older girls who are in high school, ready to give you advice about what you are going through (because chances are, they’ve been there too)!

Share your thoughts in the comments below!

Kristen

New Moon Intern

Have you ever painted your nails pink? Did you ever think it would be controversial?

An advertisement in J. Crew’s most recent catalog shows the president of the company, Jenna Lyons, painting her 5-year-old son’s toenails pink.  (J. Crew is a national clothing and accessories retailer.)

There is a caption on the image that reads, “Lucky for me I ended up with a boy whose favorite color is pink. Toenail painting is way more fun in neon.”

J. Crew is known for its more conservative style and has faced a lot of backlash because of this advertisement! It has taken the Internet by storm!

Hundreds of people have had something to say when it comes to this young boy and his pink toenails. Somepeople are bothered by it, while others have come to his defense!

A man with Fox News said, “Well, it may be fun and games now, Jenna, but at least put some money aside for psychotherapy for the kid—and maybe a little for others who’ll be affected by your ‘innocent’ pleasure.”

On the other hand, one woman who responded online said that “if the roles had been reversed and the photo…had been of a little girl playing in the mud with trucks, nobody would have batted an eye.”

Do you think it’s okay for boys to wear pink nail polish if they so choose?  What are your reactions to what some people said about it?

Do you think that strict rules for girls and boys about what you can and cannot do are important to have, or should you be able to express yourself in whatever way you want?

Leave your thoughts in the comments below, and share your stories!

Kristen

New Moon Intern

Kye Allums, a talented athlete and student at George Washington University, is the first publicly transgender athlete to play Division I basketball.

Kye is transitioning from female to male.  This is because he physically is a “girl” right now, but in his mind identifies as a “boy”.  He has begun what is called a female to male, or ftm, transition by changing his name and asking his friends and teammates to refer to him with male pronouns such as “he” or “him.”

When asked about the transition and the process that he is going through, Kye speaks openly and responds simply that his self-identity is male, that he is a guy, and is ready to be treated like one!

He planned to wait to publicly identify as transgender until after his basketball career but said that it just “got too tough to not be me, to hear people call me a girl and refer to me as something that I knew I wasn’t.”

The coach says that Kye’s teammates have been very accepting and the NCAA (National Collegiate Athletic Association) says that as long as Kye is “biologically female” and doesn’t take “male” hormones, that he can continue to play on the women’s team.

However, Kye has been struggling to gain acceptance within his own family, specifically by his mother. She insists on referring to Kye as her “daughter” and says that it is a very difficult idea to come to terms with.

She says that “most moms have this vision of having their kids, you know, grow up, get married, have the white picket fence, wear the wedding dress. It’s like your dream being shattered.”

In my opinion, even if Kye was not transgender, however, it would not guarantee a white picket fence in his future (not that he can’t now!), as I’m sure many of you girls know! I do not identify as transgender but I don’t really see a wedding dress coming up in my life either!

Kye had been very close with his mother until he began talking with her about his gender identity. He actually came out as transgender to her through an email because he said it was just too hard. He told her about his name change and possible surgery, that he wants to be a man but still loves her.

“I feel more and more complete knowing I am closer to my name change and chest surgery – so I don’t wake up every day uncomfortable wishing I was born in a different body.” He hopes, however, that someday his mother can learn that this is who he is.

I learned of Kye’s situation in this video, and was struck by how obviously upset his mother was about Kye questioning his gender. Why do you think she was so upset by this?

What do you think about gender? Is it as permanent and important as we make it out to be? How would you feel if your family couldn’t, or wouldn’t, accept you for who you are – especially if that didn’t necessarily match how you looked on the outside?

Leave your thoughts in the comments below!

Kristen

New Moon Intern

A female basketball player is making “her”story! Her name is Courtney Vandersloot and she is a senior point guard at Gonzaga University in Spokane, Washingon.

During this past season she became the first Division I player, which is the most competitive college division, to collect 2,000 points and 1,000 assists. Not only is she the first woman to ever do this, Courtney is the first player, female or male, to ever accomplish this task!

The Gonzaga team’s season ended on March 28th when they lost to Stanford, but we certainly have not seen the last of Courtney Vandersloot! She has been receiving awards left and right and has been asked to play on multiple All-American teams!

Through all of her success, her coach and teammates say that Courtney has remained humble. One young boy even showed up to games wearing a T-shirt that read “The Future Mr. Vandersloot.” Her teammates said that they definitely didn’t let her forget it!

Her family is keeping some of the news clippings of her so she can go back and look at them when in it’s all over. For now, Courtney says that she doesn’t really focus on all of the media that she is getting, but that she is “really happy with where they are as a team.”

What do you think of Courtney’s accomplishments?

Do you think that there are pros and cons to being so incredibly talented and famous? Do you think it would be difficult to stay grounded after accomplishing so much?

Leave your thoughts in the comments below!

Kristen

New Moon Intern

Imagine a Harvard mathematician. What do you see? What about a Boston baker?

The Geena Davis Institute on Gender in Media asked kids these very same questions. The children thought that the mathematician would be a man with hair that sticks up, glasses, a blue suit and braces. They predicted that the baker would be chubby, with a chef’s hat, a black mustache and some icing on his face.

What the kids found out was, these two imaginary “men” are one real life woman – Joanne Chang! She is an honors graduate of Harvard College with a degree in Applied Mathematics and Economics. She is also a Pastry Chef and Owner of the incredible Flour bakeries in Boston.

The pastries and desserts that she creates are nationally recognized as some of the best in the country! I haven’t been there yet but my friends tell me that the sticky buns are out of this world!

Joanne uses her knowledge of math to make delicious treats in her bakery. Can a girl be both a baker and a mathematician?

Watch the video here to hear what other kids have to say about it!

What are you passionate about?

Leave your thoughts in the comments below!

Kristen

New Moon Intern